The Scratchy Apache|
"Sam" Sooren Apkarian
Listen my friend, and I'll tell you a tale,
Of the time I traveled on the Western trail;
There were wolves and coyotes, buzzards and all,
But Indians were feared, worst of all.
When you took a trip in the pioneer days,
You would think of dying, in many, many ways;
If the heat didnít get you, then the coyotes could,
|Or the buzzards, or some ol' Indian would.||( Ol' = any body, or thing )|
Well, there I was, in eighteen o' nine, (1809)
One thousand miles I'd left behind,
Rode on the trail of U. S. Mail,
|Headin' due West from Melvindale.||( headin' = heading )|
Melvindale?!! That's right son;
It's in "Michigan"!!|
I'd been watching for signs of smoke,
Fighting Indians was no joke;
My horse got jumpy; I started to fret,
But to play it safe, I thought I'd get set.
Had a gun in each hand, and a knife in my teeth,
|Layin' back in the saddle, and steerin' with my feet;||( layin' = laying;|
|I figured they'd think I was dead,||steerin' = steering )|
|And let me go travelin' West instead.||( travelin' = traveling )|
All at once I heard a zing,|
It was an arrow from Apache string;
I fired away, till my guns were done,
This crazy Apache made it seem like fun.
I jumped off my horse and pulled my knife,
|I cut my tongue, was bleedin' for my life;||( Bleedin' = bleeding )|
|He jumped on my back and started to scream,|
|Started scratchin' my face till my beard was clean.||( scratchin' = scratching )|
He said he couldn't, take my scalp,|
War paint was bad on his allergy;
I never was so glad ,seeing an Indian,
Especially this long-nosed Scratch-y Apache.
He'd fallen off a wagon at the age of ten,
Apaches called him "Sooren Apkarian";
A tomahawk couldn't be used by him,
'cause he was rejected, Ar-men-ian.
Yes, "Sooren" ---- the --- "Scratchy" ---- "Apache!"
Copyrighted in 1971 Armenian insanity!
It was meant to be funny.